Announcing Scam Agile aka Scagile, a New Agile Development Method

Executive Summary

• Agile has become very popular in software development.
• We have introduced an Agile method that is not actually Agile but seems like Agile.

Introduction

Agile is so popular and has so many people who pretend to follow Agile but use it for their own purposes that we have become offended. So offended, in fact, that we have decided to create a non-Agile Agile method.

Our References for This Article

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Introducing Scagile

Its called “Scam Agile,” aka “Scagile”

Hear me out.

So under this methodology, I use the term “Agile” to sell things various consulting services to companies, but the extent of Agile is merely the use of the term. I plan to pepper the term Agile on PPT decks and in various discussion forums. I also use it to get developers to work harder and faster, and to show faux progress.

You Might Ask, “How Does Scagile Help Me With Account Control”

First of call, great question.

In terms of account control, when I am critiqued for poor quality code and products, I use Scagile as a shield against criticism.

By adopting a condescending tone, I can then respond to critiques by declaring the individual producing the critique obviously “does not understand Agile.” I will be writing a book and offering seminars in this Scam Agile. I plan to become extremely wealthy with my Scam Agile certification programs, project sales, mugs, etc..

Conclusion

I really want this to be successful, so please respond with any flaws in this plan. It has to be appealing to customers and also to those who seek to become Scagile certified. We are teaching courses in Agile condescending and misdirection right now.