How to Bring Agile Development into Your Sex Life

Executive Summary

• Agile has become very popular in software development.
• What is lesser known is that the Agile method is also very beneficial for one’s sex life.

Introduction

Agile can be used for one’s sex life and can significantly enhance one’s sex life, and while at the same time, ensure that best practices are being followed. In this article, we will describe how to leverage this innovative approach that can be applied to the management of any process.

Our References for This Article

If you want to see our references for this article and other related Brightwork articles, see this link.

How to Make it Happen

The following principles are essential to follow when successfully bringing Agile to your sex life.

Have Sex Frequently

Agile means doing any activity often.

And this can mean performing sex acts when you are able — and in many cases, this will mean having sex with people you don’t know very well.

For example, at work, this may mean having sex with the person in the cube next to you. If you are ready for sex, for instance, on the subway commute home, then again, while the waterfall methodology would propose waiting until you get home to your husband or wife, under Agile, you have sex right there.

This needs repetitive cycles, which is why so much Agile sex occurs in bathrooms. This includes bathrooms at work, bathrooms on subways, and bathrooms at Subway (this time, we refer to the restaurant chain).

Have Sex Quickly

Agile is about increasing the speed of the process cycle.

Speed is key; you must progress through the cycle and move to the next cycle. Waterfall sex might take 20 to 30 minutes. This is a waste of time and means that the feedback does not come until after the process, by the time the 20 to 30 minutes is up.

Agile sex means driving to requirements and completing sex acts in one to 3 minutes.

People who have sexual sessions between 20 to 30 minutes long only get one feedback cycle for that one act. However, following Agile can have ten sexual encounters if they keep their average duration to 2 minutes.

That is ten times the feedback. This leads to the next point.

Deliver Early

This means that you reach your sexual climax far more quickly than someone following the waterfall approach. Agile sex can lead to lots of moaning within 45 seconds of the initiation of the sex act. This is a fast time to the excitement, leading to a quick time to completion. The intent should always be to speed up the time to completion.

Waterfall sex uses regular clothing, but Agile sex does not. It uses modified clothing designed explicitly for cycle time reduction. This means having clothing that can be removed extremely quickly.

This man will show you how to make homemade tear-away pants. 

Agile is centered around feedback. Before Agile was invented, no human knew how to ask for feedback. However, with Agile, developers realized that they were able to ask for feedback. This is an incredible innovation. 

Ask for Constant Feedback

Remember that more than the pleasure, you are seeking critical feedback.

• Request frequent and constant feedback. Communication is key. Constantly talk in your sexual encounters.
• Use feedback to improve your subsequent fast sexual encounter. This is the entire point of the sexual encounter in the first place.

Dealing with Negative Feedback from Waterfall Proponents

This is a bit of a hassle, but eventually, you may get caught applying Agile to your sex life by your life partner.

If your husband or wife complains after she learns about your indiscriminate sexual activity — tell them it is Agile. Everything written here is 100% consistent with Agile.

Conclusion

Agile has revolutionized how project managers both lie and manage projects, and the great thing about Agile is that it can be implemented without any involvement from developers. However, for too long, Agile has been limited to managing development or faking the management of development.

Applying Agile to sex is just the beginning. In future articles, we will discuss Agile pet ownership, Agile child-rearing, Agile nuclear arsenal management, and many more Agile applications. So stay tuned!